Into the Depths

Yesterday and today I have been craving an enormous hot melty gooey chewy brownie with dark chocolate chunks smothered in vanilla bean ice cream and hot fudge sauce, hold the nuts please.

I have also had the yearning to go shopping, wander the aisles of a department store, try on shoes, and buy lots of pretty new things.

These have been my daydreams and longings for 48 hours- and if I had some free time I am positive I would have already demolished the sundae and been shopping by now.

But today, Dawna found the most intriguing article called, “Cupcakes for you” Geneen Roth(see below). Now, of course the idea of cupcakes grabbed my attention and I listened lazily as she read off the computer screen.

To sum it up, the cupcakes are my solution to the ache, my faux desire. They seem to offer everything my heart could long for. However, the desire beneath them when pulled into the light recognizes that a cupcake would fall pathetically short.

The brownie supreme sundae dripping with warmed fudge is a temporary fix. The dresses and shoes and twirling that would ensue follow a shopping spree are a poor substitution for what I really want.

I crave an escape, a break, a respite, a rest. I crave comfort.

I might still have the sundae, and go shopping, but at least I can enjoy them for what they are- delicious and fun- but not be disappointed when they don’t heal the cracks of my heart.